of all days,
it had to be today
- when i'm still partly unconscious from my migraine,
i have forgotten to bring my handphone to school.
no big deal, it's not the first time,
and usually,
rarely,
i'll get urgent phone calls.
yes, just when i least expected,
the "almost-worst" thing happened.
there i was,
in school for SJAB and coursework till 7pm
when i actually was hoping i could get home
earlier.
went to get dinner,
home in time to clear the mess kiki had made,
and i remembered my phone.
i was shocked to see 8 missed calls,
7 sms-es.
and most of them were from A's phone
and finally nel's,
with short messages:
"A is in TTS hospital"
"A fainted in MRT"
"call me once you get this"
all the possibly-worst scenerios came to mind as i dial nel.
the first thing i asked was
"where the hell is TTS? how do i get there?"
nel suggested i not drive but take a cab,
cos he didn't think i was ok to drive.
he had seen A and he was conscious then.
i dropped the dinner on the table,
smiled and told kiki i'm going shopping
(so that she wouldn't worry)
and rushed off to the hospital.
there was a queue i need to be in
to be screened before i can enter
the Emergency section.
i finally saw A at quarter to 9.
he was all curled up in a bundle,
totally weak,
on drip,
on a temporary, uncomfortable bed.
he was in pain,
he can hardly describe to me what had happened.
i can only see him for 5 mins
and have to wait outside
for he was to be under observation
till half past.
one hour had past before they called me in.
they removed the drip,
took his temperature, pressure, etc.
no doctor spoke to me.
the nurse said he could be discharged.
i took all the papers they handed to me
first to the payment counter,
then to the pharmacists.
by the time i got the medication,
it was past 11pm.
i headed back to the Emergency ward
only to find that he was weaker,
it was not possible to bring him home.
the doctor finally spoke to me,
suggesting to ward him.
A was just drifting away in the
temporary, uncomfortable bed.
so there i went again,
with more papers they have issued to me,
to another counter to get him admitted.
forms to be filled in,
questions to be cleared,
finally back at the Emergency ward,
we have to wait again for a bed.
more testing of his temperature,
pressure, etc.
finally, finally,
he was pushed into a ward.
that was already past midnight.
there was an empty bed beside him,
i thought i should be admitted too,
as i was feeling equally sick.
another nurse came in to ask me questions
and told me to wait for the doctor to come by.
more waiting and finally a junior doctor came.
she asked me the same questions again
- how he had fainted
- what happened
followed by more testing of temperature,
pressure, etc.
A just want to shut his eyes
and drift away some more.
i just want him well.
i finally left the hospital past 1 am.
with a bagful of his soiled clothes.
literally clothes stained with shit.
back home,
more mess by kiki to be cleared,
followed by digging for A's cards and keys
from his shit-stained pants
-no offence, but i almost puked
in a few seconds later,
i realised my tears have overcome the stink.
i found myself sitting down and cry.
i couldn't imagine if the worst-worst do happen.
at least i could still bear with washing a pair of shit-stained pants.
i didn't think i could bear it if i were to lose A.
never, never in my life
would i want to live,
in the absence of A.
i finally had my dinner at 2.30am.
reader k | 8/13/2005 03:37:00 AM |
