Thursday, March 30, 2006
etch a sketch
i wish i have time to sketch.
sketch my own stuff.
have time to do art properly.
then i tripped upon this:
http://www.etch-a-sketch.com/
reader k | 3/30/2006 01:00:00 AM |
1 comments
Tuesday, March 28, 2006
strength and spirit of the soul
the other day i was cleaning the house.cleaning turns into shifting the furniture all around.it took hours, but totally satisfying.that is me.i used to sleep at real late hours,at times, i'll be shifting the furnishing and decor in my bedroom at 3 am.i used to have just the bedroom to play with,now i have the whole house.at times, when i really want to do something,really really want to, even if it's something not important at all,i have the strength and the determination to complete it.the day when i was to go on the hike with the cadets,i was not feeling too well, but knowing that i have the cadets to take care of, somehow i'd managed to walk that whole distance.i was surprised that i could do it then too.lately my cadets have been training both for competition and the Speech Day.i feel upset that i couldn't help them much,in marching and knowing that they are tired, they still have to go on.i feel for them.from the staff room, i can hear the parade rehearsal going on,and nothing much i can do to ease their tiredness.all i had was teddy biscuits for them.-----------------------------------------------------march is ending,april is coming.my favourite month.film festival film festival!!!it has been 12 years since i watched my first film festival,had never skip a year except for the year when i was in UK. frantically going through the synopsis of the films,marking down the ones i want to watch,checking the dates,cancel anything else just for the movies.used to go down and queue at the ticketing office before i have credit card to book online.then for two whole weeks, feast my eyes with all the international stories.i love the times when i was able to volunteer to help out,as that means free movies and any movies.now i can't find time.April is also the month where birthdays of some of my favourite people falls on.that includes me.i love myself ok!April.
reader k | 3/28/2006 10:43:00 PM |
2 comments
Friday, March 24, 2006
to be happy
i'm glad today.i spoke to clarisse, sandy and grace on the phoneand widya left a nice message on the blog.saw mom, dad, granny and the two naughty twins.had dinner with them.don't make life too hard for myself.
reader k | 3/24/2006 11:40:00 PM |
1 comments
i still have the keys for her
believe it or not number 2i have lost this friend.his contact is still here,i still see his car once in a long while on the road,i bumped into him some years back,but i've lost him.i have lost this friend.her address is in my heart.i still have the keys for her.i just sent her a book 2 weeks back.not sure if it reached her, because she did not reply.the last words i gave her was hurtful,to myself, to her, to him.i was at a lost, then, now.still.i am upset not because i've lost them,but because i really do love them very much.this week of pain,i cannot stop thinking about them.i don't know when i'll lose their contact,but actually have them here.
reader k | 3/24/2006 06:24:00 PM |
0 comments
a dog's life
i can't believe this myself too.1 week of absence on a school week,5 days of MCs,3 trips to the doctors,2 doctors i've seen,2 jabs i've been given,all kinds of painkillers given,lessons i've missed,loads of paper work to be done,exam papers to be set.it has been terrible.i can't even look at the computer screen as it gives me acute pain.work emails piled up for the past week.i'm worried.people at work have been most understanding and nice.sandy, grace and widya,your silent support has helped me able to not to look at work at all and get all the rest i needed.clarisse and your words have made me think twice about putting my health second to my work.my boss have been the ultimate supporter to me since i started teaching. daryl and nat for your constant prayers through phones and sms.mas and marcus for taking my classes and workload without any complaints.weilin and shirley taking care of SJAB and my form class.and i realised:i can't do that much really.i really really can't.this time round i'll only try and i'll put my expectation of my best lower. my boss says my fault is i'd never learn to say "No" when asked to do something.------------------------------------------------------------------------i went through my emails today and amongst work stuffs,came a very sad news.Blackie has passed away.11 years with our family.my cousins and i are very close and we are a bunch of dog-lovers.my young cousin has rescued Blackie on her way to work and as we all have dogs at that time, cousin P decided to take Blackie in as she has never had a dog before.as usual, the mother would grumble but Blackie won the hearts of the whole family in no time.now she's gone.Cousin P sent a long email to us with her thoughts and her memories of Blackie.it reminded me of Chie Chie, my first dog.it's true that these little friends are really true friends of humans.for this whole week, KiKi has been by my side all the time.she would sit real close to me just to make sure i'm ok.'The only fault a dog has is a life too short'. i'm sure Blackie is happy wherever she is now.Chie Chie has company in doggie's heaven. :)
reader k | 3/24/2006 03:58:00 PM |
2 comments
Saturday, March 18, 2006
corrective work
and so the one-week break is ending.was busier than normal school days.in a way, it made things more difficult as people you need to get things done with may not be around during these times and you just have to either do it on your own or KIV and you know when you KIV, it means more work later.Coursework hours were also longer as there were specifically two days dedicated for it.Teachers religiously turned up and put in all their hearts and mind and soul to these students and yet, some idiots choose not to turn up.their reasons / excuses are totally invalid:1) i forgot (yes, even with letter stating the dates given)2) my friend is not going so i'm not going (your friend is going to fail N or O Levels Art, so you're going to fail with your friend?)3) it's holidays (told you 1001 times as graduating classes, no such things as holidays for this week, so do the teachers.)these irresponsible students deserved to be punished, they deserved no more help from us.i am not tired to teach you how to draw, paint, cut and conceptualise your ideas.i am tired of handling your mood swings, your attitude, your irresponsibility.chances have been given endlessly,time have been spent talking and discussing through.they will just not learn and appreciate.
reader k | 3/18/2006 01:50:00 PM |
1 comments
Wednesday, March 15, 2006
afternoon of bliss
i accomplished 1 design today.then made my trip down town-- suddenly thought it as such a luxury and waste:one person in a carthe amount of pollution i've producedthe amount of energy transmittedthe space i've taken up on the roadthe ERP i've paidthe parking i've paidthen again, i'm entitled to one afternoon of bliss.i went in the late afternoon and wore my heelsso that i have lesser time to shopso that i'd walked a little slowerso that i'd not spend so muchwhy would i even consider all these on a day of bliss?bought a dress, 2 books, one magazine, a notebook, several small gifts for some nice people, a necklace for theia and a couple of cds.in-betweens i have endless sms-es to reply.back home,i looked at the design i did this morning again.not right.i did another.i accomplished 2 designs today.----------------------------------------------i saw this bookand i thought of you.i bought it, for you.i'm sending it to you.i don't know if i'll ever see youagain,or anymore.i made it so upsetting.----------------------------------------------
reader k | 3/15/2006 01:17:00 AM |
0 comments
Tuesday, March 14, 2006
U-ZAP
yesterday i first caught sight of the advertisement on OSIM U-ZAP.looks interesting.looks convincing.i may add it into my birthday wish list.so i went online to check on it before i venture to the shop to be con by salesman.that's when i saw this:IMPORTANT: Any individual who is under medication or feeling unwell; has malignant tumours; is suffering from heart diseases; is pregnant or menstruating; on medical rest or res-cure order by a doctor; has spinal dosprders, or bent or an abnormal condition caused by past accidents or sickness, has back problems, has a high temperature; should consult a doctor before using this product. hmmm.... so who can use it?blah!
reader k | 3/14/2006 12:04:00 PM |
3 comments
random tuesday
Q: how fast do money come and go?A: within seconds.just got my pay and after paying bills and transferring to mummy for my monthly contribution to the family, 70% of my pay is gone. how terrible.and last month alone, i think i've spent close to $300 on medical bills.how how how terrible.perhaps i should just spend more petrol money and drive to Hougang at least once a week to mummy and ask her to make herbal soup for me. that way i can drink all the home-made soup i want and rid of work-sickness and spend time with mum and dad, my 2 angel nieces and nel and mia and granny and stone and watch MTV Asia.still, i'm going shopping later.A said he will pay for my parking, shop all i want.how come he didn't suggest paying for my shopping too?hmmm......:P
reader k | 3/14/2006 11:29:00 AM |
2 comments
Monday, March 13, 2006
think
i seriously need to think about what i want to do next when my bond ends in one and a half years time.definitely i need a break.i want to continue to work, but not till i have no life, like now.i want to continue to care for people, but not so many people.i want to have more space at work to have my things placed properly, not stuffed and cramped in.i want to be able to still keep my car.i need to think,seriously.but now, i'll have to do some more work.gee.blah.sandy and grace are off to some trips.here i am still.totally totally jealous!!!!!! tomorrow is my only free day for this one-week holiday.i'm going shopping.
reader k | 3/13/2006 10:40:00 PM |
0 comments
something is
no.i still don't know how to swallow that.seeing your words on her words.teach me how to not think about otherwise.everything is back to normal.i still talk about her as if nothing had happened.we still mention her name as if nothing had happened.but she is not there.one day again she will be there.i don't know how to take it,still.help me.
reader k | 3/13/2006 06:28:00 PM |
0 comments
how strong do we have to be?
after giving the report books,i gave each of them a letter i wrote.all the same letter but i printed 39 copies.doesn't have the luxury like last year where i can write individual letters anymore.some asked what it is.some asked why i have to print so many since it's the same.some says thanks.some dropped it on the floor.i missed my sec 5s.--------------------------------------------------------------right after the report books, it's FlexSi meeting with P and VP.more changes to be made. me and mas have no choice but to go on.then off to art coursework.in-betweens, my SJAB camp started. 4 days 3 nights Free but not Easy.art coursework finally ended when i chased the last kid out at 6pm.then finally chased mas back too.camp went on well till the night.went back to shower and pack my stuffs and back to school again.before snady and i slogged somemore on FlexSi,we ate prata but i was interrupted by a kid that can't sleep.talked to her and talked to her.the FlexSi continued.me and sandy holding up as much as we can, even though we know we are dying.i gave up first.i fell asleep by 3am, when grace was till mumbling something to me.few hours later, woken by PT session downstairs. 6.30am.wash up, breakfast and off to Bukit Timah Nature Reserve.the same kid threw tantrum. talked to her, walked with her.walked there, up the hill, down the hill, and walked back to school.everyone was dead beat.didn't join them for field cooking as believe-it-or-not,i'm still doing FlexSi.P came in the afternoon with his hard drive,ready to download our proposals.i rushed through copying the files with kids coming in with some problems.finally the problems have to be resolved.i saved the files and rushed over to the kids.all i got was extreme rudeness from one cadet.the one that can't sleep, the same one that threw tantrums.i took away her uniform, accessories and boots.3 seniors sat with her while we await for her parents to come.i came in to type a letter to sack her,in the end i broke down.all the stress and tiredness came in a pack.if not for mdm ang, sandy, grace, adam and weilin,who were there for me, it would have been worse.i am glad i'm working with such wonderful people.by 630pm, i gave in.my body and mind are totally not functioning anymore.i have to call A down to drive the car,sandy have to carry my stuffs down for me.this week, i'm weak.totally trashed.
reader k | 3/13/2006 02:03:00 PM |
2 comments
Wednesday, March 08, 2006
for the service of mankind
the test was all cleared.but he said i'm too stressed.he asked what's my job, turned my medical card over and saw"teaching""ah, no wonder." he said.my boss came in today from her course.she has been warned that her staffs are dying.she was shocked and heart-broken to see us so taxed.she said she couldn't believe it.i informed her we are also doing decor for Sec One Campfire and Speech Day.she rolled her eyes.i see her, she is equally stressed.grace is down today, i hope she's feeling better.widya is still on MC.clarisse wanted to talk to us about taking care of ourselves.me and sandy said she is the black pot.left me and sandy for the day.we fussed over FlexSiwe stoned over FlexSiwe can't sleep because of FlexSihow FlexSi is it going to be?i told my cadet to prepare the First Aid kitsbecause we are going to look after other UGs too at the camp.she said, "Wow, without us, how?"i said, "For the Service of Mankind what!"she said, "You say one ah?"i said, "No, it's the SJAB Motto"she said, "....................."she said again, "So, how many eggs should i order?"i said, "45."
reader k | 3/08/2006 10:41:00 PM |
3 comments
Monday, March 06, 2006
unknown
as Dr Tey finds the veins to put the needle ini found myself suddenly talking very fast,and my sentences don't make sense.then blood gets drawn into the little tube.very dark red.i can only stare at it while he speaks to me.$104.result on wednesday.
reader k | 3/06/2006 05:52:00 PM |
2 comments
Saturday, March 04, 2006
the sec 5s going places
last year i was telling some of my sec 5s,"you'd be gone and going to new places,exciting exciting!!and i'll still be here :) "it became true.their postings are out today.some going to where they had wanted to,some don't.but they do go places.best wishes,wherever they are.i miss them.
reader k | 3/04/2006 12:42:00 AM |
0 comments
unbelievables
unbelievable one
i put up 39 coloured stickies at the window for my class.
each with words or encouragement, motivation, or plain "hello, wake up pls!"
every other day i'll take some time to think about what to write for some,
layers by layers, i'm going to build it up for them.
the cheaper way of sms, i told them.
everyday i walked in there,
i'll put up a few.
then they will come peering to see who got a new layer of words from mrs m.
some can't be bothered.
today i found one that was not written by me,
but signed as me.
i don't understand what goes through some of the minds,
i simply can't understand.
if i have my lighter then,
i'd set fire to that corner.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
unbelievable two
urgent meeting at 3pm.
we were heavily and deeply arrowed.
suddenly we became:
landscape designer
contractor sourcer
pedagogy planner to justify design
budget estimator
exhibits curator
nice titles,
interesting ideas.
tight deadlines.
head, neck, hands twisted.
from nothing to infinity we have to.
wow.
------------------------------------------------------------
unbelievable threesaw wid.
on mc with teary eyes.
i feel for her.
it will all cleared up soon darling,
and you shall have beautiful eyes.
more beautiful than the one i drew the other day :)
reader k | 3/04/2006 12:36:00 AM |
0 comments
Thursday, March 02, 2006
this with that
vandalism on the students' art works.it hurts to see the damaged marks.it hurts more to know that our kids do not learn to know.how much blood and time and hardwork spent on those works,they did not see.they used cruel weapons:ball-point pensfinger nailsa desk in my classroom of 39.filled with motifs of boredom.i put up a "creative corner"as a hint for this vandalism artist.he didn't get it.perhaps he is not just bored,but plain stupid.fights,stares,vulgarities.if only these energy could be divertedto doing a good job in class decoration,concentrating during lesson without a flip of their eyelid,greeting people with a smile.if only.now, i'm going to bring my paint and brushes to touch-up the damaged painting.sad.
reader k | 3/02/2006 06:22:00 PM |
1 comments
