some people just bring me hurt forever,
and they'd never know it.
no matter where they have moved on to,
their words and deeds seemed to pop into my life
again and again.

you are reading this.

you reckoned redemption of any kind by just running away or moving on.

you assumed others forgive and forget.

you did not even apologise.

you thought.

your mess i have carried for you,

please claim it back some day,

and return what you'd owed me.

reader k | 1/30/2006 01:39:00 AM | 0 comments

this year's reunion dinner is different
because dad and mom don't stay with me anymore,
and that makes home-cook food totally totally home-cooked and home-sick,
and that gives "reunion" a whole new meaning for me.

we packed the dog in the car and drove over.
it is nice to stay on your own, and visit your parents once in a while,
you get all the attention from them when you see them :)
i love my daddy and mummy!!


i came just in time to eat and not needed to cook! nel and me amused by the panda-fish we are going to eat.


and we played run-grab-tickle-spin before we eat


the crazy aunt with the pair of blur twins-niece. getting ready to eat!
reader k | 1/29/2006 01:07:00 PM | 0 comments

one day many years ago, before A and i were married,
we were crossing the road and saw something glittering on the ground.
we picked it up and it was a tiny yellow plastic toy.
later we found out it was from the kiddy's programme Pokemon, and it was the character Pikachu.
it stood on our book shelf since then.
recently it was gone.

yesterday as A was walking to the bus stop,
he found a Pikachu on the ground, again.
only this time it is made of rubber, and it's scruffy.
it's still yellow.

sometimes life is just so funny.
people go rounds finding one another.
some things and some people, no matter how you lose them,
they will still be found, again.


pika! pika! pikachu!
reader k | 1/28/2006 02:56:00 PM | 2 comments

reader k | 1/28/2006 12:04:00 PM | 2 comments

endless paper work for CCA that i can't scream anymore.
in this high-technology-let's-save-the-trees society, we are still required to duplicate tons of forms and snail-mail over to HQ.
if only i can attached the letters "ARGH" plus "!!!!!" as well,
but i'm not going to pay for the postage.

in times like this, a meet-up with some of my favourite people helps healing.
cat got me chinese new year goodies and beers,
gorilla amused me with his jokes and nonsense,
chicken rushed from work to have prata and otah with us and took my mind off my work by filling me in with mundane everyday talks.

BIG HUGS!


gorilla lost weight. cat, still happy as usual.


yeah, we finally got the outside seat!


both trying to stay awake waiting for chicken


chicken and his favourite pose


reader k | 1/28/2006 11:13:00 AM | 0 comments

purple room is gone.
finally finally ended.
actually it's a good thing.
raihan's body is still there, they have decided to keep it :)

claire, kangaroo and lala came by to visit
and they caught the room just in time for a last look.
claire's special delivery of home-made pineapple tarts made me want to cry.
she made it with her mom and they are seriously delicious.
only managed to catch up with them for an hour but it was warming to see them again.

they missed school,
i missed seeing them in school.

my new classroom,
ugly cream walls.
crampy 39 tables and chairs.
suffocating atmosphere.
a handful of unmotivated dead souls.
a handful of jokers.
a handful of rebels.
a handful of foreigners.
reasons for absence has become more innovative
- my school uniform is stucked in the washing machine.

i'm beginning to love them more each day
but they will not know.

-------------------------------------------------------

we were dead-dead,
so we proceed to secret garden.
re-charged
and,
resumed
tomorrow.

achievable membership very soon.

we sent the laughter into the sky,
very soon,
one day,
the sky will rain laughter.

my puffing dragons.



reader k | 1/26/2006 12:12:00 AM | 0 comments

just shade the night away.








reader k | 1/24/2006 11:49:00 PM | 3 comments

i had to speak to a student who wrote "i hate drawing" on her half-finished drawing.
i simply wanted to find out about this hatred for drawing.

background:
sec 1, NT, art is not an examination subject

she told me a little about her art lessons in primary school. she loves crafts, but hates drawing.

i explained to her that craftwork is part of art, and drawing, like any skills, requires the courage of one to start off; take a rest when you're tired, but never to give up. i asked her about her over-coming of height as she did her abseiling in her Adventure Club in primary school. she described the process to me happily. later, she saw the link of taking this step in trying to draw, and her abseiling encounter. she agreed to give it a try. i'm going to follow-up on her after the holidays.

watched nel's talk-show "Cross Fire" on channel-u. the topic on "artists in singapore" - the survival, the society's view. "art" here includes performing arts, photography, music, etc.

fame and money, how many artists in singapore have both of that without going commercialised? without sponsorship, independent artists find it hard to survive here. while pouring all your heart and soul in creativity-making, we worried about the next meal and bill.

art appreciation in our society is still at a growing phase.

as an art educator, i'm deeply concerned.

during a normal school day, i have encountered works of spitting, vulgarity-usage, porn-watching and senseless-fighting.

tell me i am not concerned.

for the second time within 2 weeks, the door knob on the back door was damaged.




reader k | 1/23/2006 11:53:00 PM | 0 comments

"can you do something about it? it's a bad habit, kick it."

"hmmm, ok, will try lah."

"use other words to replace it then. the next time you felt like scolding vulgarity, say the new words instead, ok?"

"ok."

"i don't mind you using them, but not in school and during my lessons. ok, go for your next lesson now."

"thanks cher, bye!"

as they disappeared at the door, i heard them shouting at their friends opposite the corridor,
"hey, bark you!"

they re-appeared at the door with a silly smile and ran off again, immediately.


reader k | 1/22/2006 02:03:00 AM | 0 comments

showing off how powerful R2D2's phone camera is, and how useful gorilla is with taking the picture for us. :)


meow, R2D2, pikachu and chicken, at the ARTBOX


along the corridor of the hardworking art room
reader k | 1/22/2006 01:19:00 AM | 0 comments

went to Yet Con at Purvis Street for chicken rice.
as usual, bad service.
people go there because the food is good.
so they bear with the bad serivce.
we too.

in london chinatown, near leicester street,
chinese restuarants flood the place.
we used to always go to this place called "1997".
good food, bad service.
always crowded.

what is the theory behind?
reader k | 1/22/2006 01:02:00 AM | 1 comments

the cat, chicken and gorilla finally appeared.
they sat and waited for me for a whole half an hour just because i didn't have my phone with me while i was busy up on the 4th floor.
SORRY!!! :)

we had lunch and proceeded to more crap in ART BOX.
R2D2 joined us after.
in between gorilla hogging R2D2's new phone,
Cat's constant sms-ing his kitty pal
and Chicken's never-ending admiration of his own coursework,
we crapped and laughed within that short get-together.

it was great-great-great seeing them again,
when they made a point to drop by specially to visit, and not just because ---------

R2D2 and i can't resist catching a pic with Chicken-the-Manager in his suit and Sweet-Meow-Meow. Gorilla's many attempts to take the pic for us confirmed his "un-importance", haha.

after 13 hours in school,
i wasn't able to make it for the 12 mid-night meet-up.
sorry cat, chicken and gorilla.
next time ya!

it was a tiring, but HAPPY friday.
reader k | 1/21/2006 10:54:00 AM | 0 comments

so we teleported via 2423,
where we became another entity.
us through the closet,
finding time, finding us,
mocking others.

thank YOU for the intellectual entertainment
thank YOU for the wit
thank YOU for the G-moments

we are groupie 211.

-----------------------------------------------

cat and chicken flew me aeroplane today.
but i still love them very much.

nah, i don't slam door anymore,
that is exclusive to 5B.
i just need to look pretty and learn to speak 4 new languages,
that will do :)
reader k | 1/20/2006 12:07:00 AM | 6 comments

china
vietnam
indonesia
thailand
pakistan
taiwan
malaysia
singapore

how interesting.
now i have them all in my art class.
they should call it Bukit Batok Asian School,
and start sending us to learn a third or fourth language.
reader k | 1/18/2006 12:22:00 AM | 2 comments

some rat(s) ripped open my soupy-soup package and made a mess in the little "mama-shop" we have at the area where all the art teachers are seated.
evil, evil.

way down many rows,
another teacher found her cereal package kept in the drawer
was also ripped open.

my tea-bags, chocolate, pockey and biscuits were un-touched.

funny rat,
only like soupy-soup and cereal.

so much for limited space,
now i've got to share with rats too.
rats. :P

---------------------------------------------------------------
A passed his driving today.
happiness.
now i can drink and be driven back :)
happier happiness.

yeah yeah yeah!
---------------------------------------------------------------

i realised our flat is too big for 2 person and a dog.
so much junk.
gotta sort them out and sell off at zouk flea.
yah, as if i have time to sort them out.
i should watch TV.
reader k | 1/17/2006 10:38:00 PM | 5 comments

veron posted a pic of her desk at school on her blog.
i saw it, and felt sorry for myself.




ver's desk. real window. L-shaped desk. comfy chair. greenery and best of all, natural light.


the narrow aisle leading to my desk. good thing all the art teachers are skinny.


see how close we are to each other and to our junks, and look, the blinds that opens to..... a wall!


i can't believe i'm here for almost 12 hours everyday.


there were messier days. this is considered neat.

Argh!
Argh!
Argh!
reader k | 1/16/2006 10:31:00 PM | 1 comments

theia is 2 years old today.
we got her "straw-baby" cake
and sang birthday song - 4 times.

she is going to grow up beautiful :)

sweet dreams, baby girl.


reader k | 1/16/2006 12:27:00 AM | 2 comments

i was online
and a friend in thailand was online too.
he told me a dear friend of his passed away last night,
26 years old, heart attack.
he was not able to make it back to singapore for this friend.

life is not long for us,
for some, it's shorter.
we live each day as if it ought to be.
sometimes i feel ashame to be alive.

"To Sheila" by Smashing Pumpkins was playing on my laptop
when this sad news was told.
i don't know this guy,
but this song is for you, Alvin.


twilight fades
through blistered avalon
the sky's cruel torch
on arching autobahn
into the uncertain divine
we scream into the last divine

you make me real
you make me real
strong as i feel
you make me real

sheila rides on crashing nightingale
intake eyes leave passing vapor trails
with blushing brilliance alive
because it's time to arrive

you make me real
you make me real
strong as i feel
you make me real

lately I just can't seem to believe
discard my friends to change the scenery
it meant the wrold to hold a bruising faith
but now it's just a matter of grace

a summer storm graces all of me
highway warm sing silent poetry
I could bring you the light
and take you home into the night

you make me real
lately I just can't seem to believe
you make me real
discard my friends to change the scenery
strong as i feel
it meant the wrold to hold a bruising faith
you make me real
but now it's just a matter of grace

reader k | 1/15/2006 04:34:00 PM | 0 comments

Sometimes life brings some strange surprises.

written by jim jarmusch,
the guy who directed "coffee and cigarettes"

bill murray is don johnston.
pink flowers
pink letter
pink bath robe
pink namecard
pink motorbike
pink typewriter

past, present, future.

another road trip,
maps and cd prepared by a friend.

excellent soundtrack

----------------------------------------

i want to go on a road trip.

----------------------------------------
reader k | 1/15/2006 02:34:00 AM | 3 comments

2 weeks of school have passed
and i'm already down on one MC.
i spent almost 12 hours in school everyday.

CCA orientation done
and loads of paper work to clear.

i bought some stuffs from zara on tuesday
and i forgot about them completely for 3 days.
i suddenly remembered it but can't seem to find them anywhere in the house.
eventually found them tucked under the bottom of the front seat.
where was my mind?

coursework remedial to start in feb.

this is such a boring blog entry.
argh!
reader k | 1/14/2006 01:02:00 AM | 1 comments

the movie is bloody long,
for a story that is not well-developed,
characters not defined enough for better understanding
and appreciation.

disappointment.

if not for orlando bloom,
i would not have stuck till the end of the show,
and realised that the best part of it has to be
the last 15 minutes.

Claire made Drew a map.
a book of maps to be precised.
with cds of songs she has carefully selected,
all for this road-trip she has encouraged him to take on,
alone, on his own.
but of course he wasn't on the trip alone
-- there was his dad in the urn
and words, directions and songs by Claire.

at one point, she wrote:
"Sadness is easier because it's surrender. I say make time to dance alone with one hand waving free."
and she drew the woods that he would pass by,
and indicated exactly where he could dance, among the tress.
he danced, alone, with one hand waving free.
he saw things, ate food, felt feelings he may have experienced before,
but had always taken for granted.

aren't we all like this?
taking things and people for granted.

i love the maps she made.
i've made book-letters for some people in my life.
unfortunately, these are the people who left me.
i shall never make again.

"I want you to get into the deep beautiful melancholy of everything that's happened."
Claire Colburn
reader k | 1/10/2006 10:34:00 PM | 4 comments

lately,
i shifted away.
i can't run away from ---
i can only shift.
that is good enough for me.

went to see the exhibition.
there she was, busy typing away on her laptop,
at this little metal typist desk.
i smiled at her, she smiled back.
i went on to look at the drawers.

these little rooms.
you want to be in there, believe me.
away from the rain,
the noise, the hurt.
where are the owners?

i walked over and she stood up.
"karen?" she asked.
we've only met once, and she remembered me.
i praised her metal table instead of her works,
she didn't mind and told me she found it in her dad's office.
she raised her hands and said
"i saw it and i said success!"
small talks and she's off to Amesterdam.
she said, her face tired from smiling too much at the opening,
"come visit me and i'll make you small dinner."

we waved goodbye.

i found comfort in both her drawers and her words.


walking to my car, i looked up to see the moon.


the dimly-lit street where the moon is looking down at.


and i -------------------------------------------------------


---------------------------------shifted.
reader k | 1/10/2006 12:50:00 PM | 3 comments

was given a new laptop
tablet/ pen tool
so brilliant !
of course ,
that means
MORE work!
reader k | 1/06/2006 10:57:00 PM | 2 comments

i make it a point to join my class for recess
everyday.
so that i eat.
so that i can see and talk to them outside class.

at the table with the gang.
they told me their impromptu table rules:
last one to finish,
clear the plates.

i still have my tea.
my chairperson cleared the plates for me.
everyone laughed.


i have the first
stay-in-class-after-school-and-wait-for-me
close-door-talk
with them today

it is only the 3rd day of school.

one of the door knobs is already broken.
not by me.

tomorrow we shall see if promise number one
happens.

waiting.
reader k | 1/05/2006 05:22:00 PM | 7 comments

my new class.
one word:
challenging

they are the last NA class in sec 3.
more than half are repeat students.
a handful have past records and for all i know, present too.
one is still in boys home.
no one seems to bring any books to school.

they are just perfect to be made into the best NA class.

i want to make them into the best NA class.
the best.
seriously.


reader k | 1/03/2006 11:14:00 PM | 3 comments

reader k | 1/02/2006 07:52:00 AM | 3 comments

G and B fought over a dollar.
it was amusing to watch.



oh c'mon, kiss and make up! :) hahaha


reader k | 1/02/2006 06:21:00 AM | 2 comments

opted for a quiet new year's eve.
counting down is so old-fashioned.
best friends always come self-invited, with food!
we were so into eating we forgot to take photos before W and S went off.
just me, A, B and G

we chatted about NAFA as B fliped through the dip show book.
it's been 12 years since.

i'll remembered 2005 as a year that sucked up my energy to almost dry,
that made me appreciate doing mundane things as a form of therapeutic recovery.
happy times will always be recalled even years later.
saddy fuck-up stuffs and people can just die their own deaths for all i care.
meanwhile, i've also started to dig my own grave,
for 2006 may very well be a hell version of 2005 for me.
haha.


G, B, A and me, and kiki


kiki took a special liking to G this night


that's us, the last day of 2005


3 men and a jack russell


goodbye!!
reader k | 1/01/2006 02:45:00 AM | 3 comments

too many pictures taken during the prom.

here are some of my favourite encounters.
if you are not here, it's just that i didn't managed to catch you for a good pic. :)

my muse is not in for sure, cos it died. but who cares.


the nice people i have at work and narnia land


the pulau ubin spy who sat beside me. can't avoid a picture. the outstanding award winner!


chloe - everything!


clairin - angel *opps, didn't get ting ting!!!


desmond - sweetest sweetest


cheekang - the sensitive good soul


yongcun - golden heart


ikhwan-khwan - my slacker idol


the online boys. wilson is an intruder.


wilson and kang - the flower boys
reader k | 1/01/2006 01:29:00 AM | 8 comments