:: reader k ::

Sunday, July 31, 2005

daddy's girl

now it has become a weekly affair.
i have to travel to see my closest family.

the first time i lived apart from dad and mom
was when i turned 25,
married, moved to UK, studied and lived there.
i didn't see them for a year plus.
couldn't afford to come back for holidays.
the feeling was strange,
because i've lived with them for 25 years then.
after the short seperation,
i get to be pampered by them again,
for the last 5 years.
now they are staying with nel and mia,
and the 2 rascals twins.

dad came by today to pick up some stuffs.
he told kiki that we're all going over to nel's.
so we went, in two cars.
he was going to take his usual route, via potong pasir,
me, via the SLE.
i was surprised to see his car right behind mine
as i turned into the SLE.
he has decided to follow me.
it's so unreal, to see my dad driving behind me.
all my life, until i have my own car,
i have been driven by him.
he was driven by me, 5 times.
dad is much older than i thought he is,
seeing his reflection through my rear mirror,
a mixed feeling:
i was driving too fast for him to catch up.
i was too slow.
i didn't signal early enough for my intention.
is he going to criticise my driving later?
is he ok to drive?

dad has a passion for merz.
with him, i had the opportunity
to be in different kinds of merz as a young child.
he never fails to surprise me with his new
acquisition of cars.
he would play his favourite uncle-songs
regardless of how much nel and i hated it.
now i don't get to be driven by him.

dad and mom had so much to tell us.
we stayed for dinner.
i wanted fish porridge,
and they got it for me
from the famous stall that made them waited 20 mins for.
over dinner,
mom was describing how
the twins will soon be able to walk.
dad added that i've always
only wanted him to carry me,
no one else could.
and by the time i could walk,
i would only want to hold his hand to walk.
the porridge seems so much warmer,
tonight.

as we were leaving,
he walked us to the car,
saying he's going to get the newspaper.

he did not criticise my driving at all.

reader k | 7/31/2005 08:42:00 PM | 0 comments

Saturday, July 30, 2005

just another day

retail therapy is temporary.
my planner still looks the same,
except maybe more deadlines will be added
later.
tomorrow.
day after tomorrow.
to live one day at a time
is probably the best that i can handle
now.
no big deal.
-------------------------------------------------

i stuffed a pencil in my hair.

reader k | 7/30/2005 09:41:00 PM | 0 comments

Friday, July 29, 2005

billy corgan - the future embrace

http://www.ifilm.com/ifilmdetail/2674472?htv=12
watched the 18-mins short film,
willy wonker came to mind.
what is it with the victorian outfit?
every 3D made to look 2D,
zipping through times.
montage intertwined,
sort of monty-python-ish.
techno-punk-rock-victorian,
make up your mind.
not sure which is the future,
the real future.
the queen bee looks like sadako,
an older version.
totally disappointed,
think he's better sticking to just the songs.
imageries are all but pretty pictures,
let the music work in the mind instead.
oh yes, left-handed,
aren't you supposed to be more creative?
or was that a myth?

artiste or artist.
a blur line.

reader k | 7/29/2005 09:15:00 PM | 0 comments

what's the story, morning glory

ring around the rosies,
a pocket full of posies,
"ashes! ashes!"
we all fall down

flu bug everywhere,
the teachers are sick,
so are the students.
each have a share of the pie,
at different times,
different degrees.
----------------------------------------------------

saw the class page they have designed.
kind of funny that i was drawn as an elephant,
with the words
"i'll be watching you" imprinted.
then thoughts of
me not having to watch them
anymore after these 4 months,
made me feel sad.
guess that is the price you have to pay,
for having a graduating class.
by the time we get to know each other,
it's time to say good bye.
----------------------------------------------

surprise! surprise!
had a strangely-great chat
with my green-day-boy.
from music to cars,
he knew much more than i do,
which is simply brilliant,
because i learnt something from him,
and something more about him.
thankyou for the time.
------------------------------------

my sore throat got so much better
after i broke my voice to scold a class.
it was so so much better by the afternoon,
where i could use it on my favourite students.
not for long though,
they'll only be around with me,
for a few more months.
sad.

gee.

reader k | 7/29/2005 08:13:00 PM | 0 comments

Thursday, July 28, 2005

thoughtless day

sick.
temperature rises.
throat is sore.
ears are stucked.
basically, i can't shout at kids,
or hear their nonsense.
it's a day of rest.
the medication got into me,
drowsy.
thoughts get into my head,
in a s l o w manner.
no results can be generated,
or no good results can be generated
from within.
i'm totally exhausted.
still,
i get phone calls,
about lost nametags,
missing accessories,
tomorrow's ROD.
sometimes i hate the phones.

reader k | 7/28/2005 08:03:00 PM | 0 comments

Wednesday, July 27, 2005

perfect black

i wore black
from head to toe today.
black shirt,
black skirt,
black tights,
black shoes.
my hair is not black though,
my mood is not black either.

these days,
i have to really wear my smile out-front
so to convince 5B,
that i am not in bad mood,
that i'm not going to scold them,
that i'm not going to hurt the door.
if the door had to be admitted to the hospital that day,
i'm sure many of them will be visiting it.
they have come to love the door,
they have come to realise its existence.
they have finally open their eyes,
to see that there are things around them,
there are people around them.
it's not just self, self, self.
i'm glad,
i've inked the 100-odd days theory
in their head,
in their mind,
in their heart.
well, at least in some of them.
----------------------------------------------------

it was a nice chat,
sleeping-through-everything girl.
thankyou.
and thankyou for the song.
---------------------------------------------------------

i listened to Smashing Pumpkins' Perfect
for 7 times today.
4 times to school,
3 times back from school.
it has found its perfect spot in my car now.
perfect.
thankyou for that email,
it was perfect.
--------------------------------------------------------

PERFECT - Smashing Pumpkins

I know we're just like old friends
We just can't pretend
That lovers make amends
We are reasons so unreal
We can't help but feel that something has been lost

But please you know you're just like me
Next time I promise we'll be
Perfect Perfect Perfect

strangers down the line
Lovers out of time
Memories unwind
So far I still know who you are
But now I wonder who I was...

Angel, you know it's not the end
We'll always be good friends
The letters have been sent on
So please, you always were so free
You'll see, I promise we'll be
Perfect Perfect

strangers when we meet
Strangers on the street
Lovers while we meet
Perfect

You know this has to be
We always we're so free
We promised that we'd be
Perfect

reader k | 7/27/2005 08:21:00 PM | 0 comments

Tuesday, July 26, 2005

spot

kiki has a brown spot just right on her back.
at times (when her hyperactiveness gets on our nerves)
we wished it's an on/off button.
with a push and click,
she will stop.
the spot that stops.
we need that in life too.
sometimes it's nice to just stop,
for a while,
be brain-dead,
for a while,
but awake enough to still remember
to smell the flowers.

reader k | 7/26/2005 04:00:00 AM | 0 comments

Monday, July 25, 2005

care

read my friend's blog.
her new semester at NIE today.
first day of school.
as usual, the time table screw up,
the whole class was there for a day, in vain.
she was not in good mood,
and question with a statement,
"i don't care about you".

i recall how independent we have to be back then too.
rearrange our time-table with our lecturers;
find out the REAL venue for classes;
dig out the notes our lecturers were talking about;
draw out the outline for our lessons,
and proposed to them the way they should teach us.

now here i am,
lecturing others.
i tried not to do what my teachers had done
in all the years i can remember,
as a student.
even though it has been a short one year,
i've come to experience some positive vibes,
from what i've sowed.
today, 2 of my students asked me not to care too much,
in a good way.
they said i've made myself so upset and unhappy
while caring too much for them.
i guess so too.
it made them unhappy when i don't walk into the classroom
with a smile.
i'm glad they understood it was care.

upon reflection,
i agree i've care for them in a somewhat wrong way,
too much.
i need to care for myself too.

thankyou ikhwan,
thankyou layyan.
------------------------------------------------------------

as i sat drinking ice-milo with my 2 students,
a sec one boy from my CCA came by and sat together.
we ate and chatted.
i found out:
his elder brother was my ex-student.
his other brother is one of my sec 2 art student.
he found out:
i gave his sec 2 brother a pencil case.

some time back,
i gave his sec 2 brother a pencil case
with some basic stationaries.
he was without one because
the elder brother had taken it as he needed it more,
in his new year in Poly.
the family was too poor to afford proper meals
for the kids,
let alone pencil case for all the kids.
i didn't know the elder brother was my ex-student.
now i knew.

as he ate his second plate of food
(already over-using the food coupons the school have issued to him),
he said with his mouth full,
'teacher, the pens are very good.'

sometimes i found unfamiliar stationeries
in my pencil case after lessons,
when i asked who the owner is,
no one bothered.
sometimes i get people who bothered to answer,
'it's just a pencil, teacher!'

the care-list shall go on,
whether it's a class,
a boy,
or a pencil.

reader k | 7/25/2005 07:22:00 PM | 0 comments

Sunday, July 24, 2005

pirated initial D

i was driving back from mum's place,
120km/h along CTE.
as i stole a glance at my mirror,
ah-beng's car right behind my backside,
so close that i can see the red tint in his hair.
the family wagon in front of me
woudn't move more than 120km/h.
i switched to the left lane,
giving way for the ah beng behind to take flight.
of course he was stucked behind the family wagon.
soon, the family wagon gave up too,
and switched over to my lane.
there, not one,
not two,
not three,
but four ah-beng's car drove along.
all dressed up like Initial D's racers.
soon they were far from my sight.

i continued to cruise at my own speed,
from CTE to BKE,
back on the third lane.
fast.
the cars in front started to slow down,
ridiculous speed for a third-lane-expressway-night-ride.
next, they started to switch to the second lane.
soon, the coast was clear,
and i saw two of the pirated-initial-Ds.
one right behind a JB-number-plate suzuki,
cruising at about 90km/h.
the other on the second lane,
just right beside the JB-number-plate suzuki.
3 cars in conversation,
an unfriendly one,
i assumed.
i didn't want to risk my poor car.
i switched to the first lane.
just as i thought i was safe,
black pirated-initial-D zoom past me into my lane,
and zoom out of the expressway.
i'm glad i wasn't fast enough,
A and i would not have made it home to make our stew then.
so much for a real-life-pirated-initial-D episode.

reader k | 7/24/2005 09:21:00 PM | 0 comments

one man, one tree

i felt i've fought a battle
for the past week.
no conquerers.
i think we have gone a level higher,
in understanding each other,
in caring for each other,
in laughing at each other.
that would be the best result,
for any battle fought.
i think.

finally at ease,
i slept the whole day on saturday.
tortured by the pain in my head,
i can't do much.
missed a birthday party in the east.
woke up with a clearer head.
continued the night with "One Tree Hill".
indulged in "Karen's Cafe",
Nathan and Lucas fighting.
watching Peyton's ironic artwork.
once i took a bus and stopped at
One-Tree-Hill by Grange Road.
just to look at the old tree,
the old street.
my wish: to own an apartment there.
it brought me back to seeing that ONE tree
on the hill in Auckland, NZ.
- the real One-Tree-Hill.

another week beginning.
let's rebuild whatever we have trashed,
and let's be happy,
once more.

106 days more.

reader k | 7/24/2005 01:23:00 AM | 0 comments

Friday, July 22, 2005

why do i smile

when i packed a basket of tidbits,
they ate them all,
returned the empty basket,
with not a thankyou note,
but my note to them, inside.
all i can do is smile.

when you gave them 2 crap sessions
in one day,
they kept very quiet.
i have to slam the door
to break the silence.
result:
21 injured ( not acussed)
1 victim ( it's the door, not someone)
no one enjoys being lectured
no one enjoys giving the lecture.
both taxing.
guilt was not on my target list,
neither was anger and sadness,
but they do come in a package,
slam hard at my face.

i talked to you as a class,
not as individual.
i can only find smiles for you
from the bottom of my heart,
when we are outside the injured door.

some didn't get it,
they may never get it.
just let it be then.
i can't force a thought into one's head.

chips to let this matter rest,
but the idea should remain.
same scenerio,
different people,
how do we handle it?
just smile.
---------------------------------------------------
lay yan and chee kang,
thanks for making this crap week
end a little better.
lay yan, thanks for clearing your doubts with me.
chee kang, thanks for not doubting my intention.

with these 2 reasons,
how can i not smile?

reader k | 7/22/2005 10:05:00 PM | 0 comments

Thursday, July 21, 2005

one day

reader k | 7/21/2005 06:42:00 PM | 0 comments

mitchell is meaner than hitler

episode 01
i've planned the 109 days bomb for a week now,
and i dropped it today.
i surprised myself too
as i didn't count the days before.
i didn't know it's really 109.
scary.
i hope they are awake by now.

episode 02
thought it's no-lesson day today,
end up lesson at kampong glam.
with 39 kids.
these are really kids.
they bought toys,
i bought them sweets.
after we were back,
i still have to babysit them for an hour and a half!
it was a torture.
i can't wait to see my bomb causalties,
to hope to find comfort just by the sight of them.

episode 03
they have given me a better reason to see them.
they dropped me the bomb this time.
i saw them,
i was more powerful,
but that's not what i've planned.
i only get guilt, regrets, sadness
as i walked away from the war zone.
i've injured 21 helpless,
and a door.
i'll say sorry to the door,
but not to the 21 helpless.
i have my reason to make it a big fuss,
you shall understand in due time,
or you shall not.
it doesn't matter.
you choose to hate me for it,
it does matter,
but i can't stop you from feeling that way.
thankyou suet ni, stella and clairin
you girls made the last part of the day
much much bearable.
thankyou clairin for throwing away the late lunch for me.

episode 04
i know you doubt my trust in you.
i know you hate me for this.
i believe you,
that is why i talked to you first.
i know i can get the truth from you.
if you'd remembered,
i smile at you before i walked away,
it wasn't a scolding,
it was a confirmation of my doubts.

episode 05
have i mentioned it's racial harmony day today?
so much for harmonious,
i ruined the day for myself.

episode 06
if there is a fire in the school
i'll run to level 4 first.
because 5B is there.
my 23 helpless and injured door are there.

reader k | 7/21/2005 04:52:00 PM | 0 comments

Tuesday, July 19, 2005

my absence, your presence

first time in this term i left school early
1655 hrs.
for once it was still bright when i left school.
what luxury.
for once my car wasn't the only one left in the carpark.
what strangeness.

sheer happiness.
----------------------------------------------------------------------

some unexpected guests
took initiative
and pop into the art room
to grow more morning glory
and add more blue and purple shades
to the little boy's shirt.

totally pleasing with their presence.
this time i did not threaten them
with a knife.
freewill.

i have yet to examin the quality though.
fingers crossed.

reader k | 7/19/2005 09:10:00 PM | 0 comments

Monday, July 18, 2005

possible pain-killers

know who helped to make my day a bit better today?

a few of my SJAB cadets.
something they said just hit the jackpot the right way.
the glow in their words lightened me.

hongying walked past and said "bye" to me.
she said she's not feeling well and was going home.
we had a small talk and her popping up
gave me a chance to care for her.
that made me felt better.

an irritating incident in class made me pull this kid aside to talk.
initially he was apprehensive about this talk.
the usual gangster look, non-stop shaking of legs.
at one point of our talk, his eyes softened.
when i requested that he stopped shaking his legs,
he did it, without any protest.
i felt we had a good talk,
but the bell went off.
i hope to catch his eyes again, soon.

zech bought me a cup.
totally my kind of colours and designs.
everything was nicely wrapped up, with a cute card of a dog.
he gave the present, for no reason at all.

clairin, chee kang and lay yan went past and said bye.
they caught me
while i was preparing my angry face at the kids.
i didn't have a chance to say goodbye properly.
but they smiled back.

all these made today so much bearable.

thankyou.

reader k | 7/18/2005 08:03:00 PM | 0 comments

Saturday, July 16, 2005

prick

nothing was wrong.
everything was fine.
but i felt strangely
upset,
after seeing the picture.

don't remind me again.

the sharpener doesn't work anymore,
so do us.
i think it's time to let things crumble.
i'll leave the crumbs for you,
i shall walk away.

don't remind me again.

reader k | 7/16/2005 07:38:00 PM | 0 comments

Friday, July 15, 2005

pikachu

if my black getz became this,
i know who would laugh the loudest

reader k | 7/15/2005 08:32:00 PM | 0 comments

Thursday, July 14, 2005

kiki the witchy dog

i told 2 that i'm going to leave school early
today.
they laughed.
it's true,
everytime i planned to leave work early,
i'd never succeed.

for the sake of kiki.
this lonliness drives her to madness,
and me coming back to a mess of her madness.
she ate my gardinia bread yesterday,
left the wrapper on the kitchen floor,
played with my elephant toy.
i came back to a guilty-face wag of a tail.

so i was mocked,
before they left,
they came by to check on me.
i'm still there.

i finally left at 5.30pm
came back to another session of guilt.
toilet paper dragged across the floor.

you'd never realise how capable a dog can be,
when left alone.

what will it be tomorrow?
i dare not imagine.

reader k | 7/14/2005 07:36:00 PM | 0 comments

this is dead

"not-us" shall hear
no words that "not-us" do not want to hear.
i shall only mutter
those that pleases "not-us".

it is tiring to care,
poisonous to swallow back my disappointment,
taxing to the heart to constantly showering love.
i am equally confused,
to whom do i owe these treats?
"not-us" do not know that.

i may very well not appear in the morning
to disturb your reading period,
to nag at you doing other homework
when you should be reading,
to comment on the quality of your journal writing.
yes, i may not.
not because i do not want to,
but i may not make it there.
i may die on my way to school,
it happened once - a car accident,
just at the school gate.
i was scared shit, but i survived,
not hurt at all.
what is the probability of me
having a car accident now?
you tell me,
since you've been doing so much maths homework
during reading period.

before we count our blessings,
let me be the ghost then.
i shall come in to read,
silently,
and leave,
silently.
no more words.
afterall,
it is silent reading.

maybe everyone will be happier then.

reader k | 7/14/2005 07:19:00 PM | 0 comments

Wednesday, July 13, 2005

spoilers

i used to work in this place where
a few of us artists who were working on this project,
shared the same office space.
we are just tables apart.
there is no partition between us,
so whatever we do or say,
affect everyone in the same room.
but we all got on very fine.
however,
there is just this one girl,
she puts everyone in foul mood
on some mornings.
during these unfortunate mornings,
she would come into the office,
sulking.
then she will bang her bag on the floor,
dump herself onto her chair, with a BIG sigh,
switch on her computer, with a BIG sigh,
not saying good morning to anyone at all, sigh, sigh ,sigh,
for as long as she felt like it.
so there she was,
spoiling everyone's mood too.
no one could talk,
because the whole room is filled with "sighs".
it bounced off the wall,
and echo through the whole room.

reader k | 7/13/2005 07:02:00 PM | 0 comments

Tuesday, July 12, 2005

toss and turn

you said:
"Amnesia hit me last night"
incidentally,
i was listening to Radiohead's Amnesiac
on the way to school this morning.

and why am i termed crazy in phone messages at times?
i thought i was just long-winded,
i didn't know i was crazy too.
that is fine, i'd like to be mad.

made chicken stew and roasted vegetable today,
so happy.

i think you'd meant to say
"insomnia",
and not "amnesia"

reader k | 7/12/2005 05:55:00 PM | 0 comments

Saturday, July 09, 2005

nothingness

attaining nothingness.
it is not impossible.
some people have done it,
but i am not going to be there.
not because i don't think i can,
but i don't think i want to.

there should be share of sorrow, sadness,
pain, happiness, hatred, disgust, love, jealousy,
confusion, etc in my life.
i don't want to feel nothing.

it was great talking to you
while we walk and while we wait.
i always get to see a different side of you
when we communicate alone.

no one have asked me to take care of my health,
so that he can get to see me the next day.
thankyou for saying that,
your words are lenitive medication.

reader k | 7/09/2005 01:23:00 PM | 0 comments

six years | elephant shoe

A knows that i don't like to receive flowers,
because they are a waste of money,
i think.

however, being the loving A,
he brave himself to waste money,
on me.

first bouquet:
3 white lilies in a bundle.
i held them against my black dress
when we say "i do".

second bouquet:
a mess of white roses,
resting on a nest of twigs.
i was so excited in my white gown,
i left them sitting on the table in the dressing room.
they didn't make the appearance when they should.
finally, throwing the bouquet.
i stood on the stone-seats outside SAM glass hall,
back facing the eager crowd,
i threw the nest of roses.
some nephew/niece caught it.
after which,
the kids did an re-enactment,
till the nest of roses became a mess of roses.

third bouquet:
it was a surprise!
at noon on 9th july.
kiki bark before the doorbell rang.
the delivery man at the door,
with a bouquet of white roses.
for me, from A.
i didn't expect that.
along came a card.
the canadian man with his long-winded lines.
caught me speechless.

roses in vase,
white sweetness filled the room,
elephant shoe.

reader k | 7/09/2005 01:04:00 PM | 0 comments

Friday, July 08, 2005

mapping happiness in a day

only one dog alone at home.
that has been the only thought on my mind since morning.

what has it been then?
while my dog is alone at home,
i was,
lesson,
paper-work,
lesson preparation,
early lunch (! wow!),
kampong glam in the hot hot sun,
department meeting,
st. john's activities,
department meeting,
paper-work, more.

in-between worrying about them.
the time, the venue to meet.

finally to SAM.
4 in the car.
and then i have more at SAM.

AEP.
they have enjoyed.
i thought i would not make it by then,
afterall it's the last item on my agenda.
but i made it,
and i'm glad i did.
it made me happy.
it made me laugh, most importantly.
they said the little girl in the animation is me,
and there's (appropriately) an elephant as company.
brilliant. it made them laughed.

fun ends at different hours for different people.
the rest were starving.
we head down to the nearest clinic to cure hunger pangs.
i'm surprised my eyelid didn't shut.

by 9pm, zoom off from town.
the usual us.
tea, caramel, belgium chocolate and the ultimate,
tiramisu and chocolate with a thousand leaves.
it's like when we first sat and talked,
only we are much more comfortable now,
sitting in each others' sorrow,
burden, silly jokes, stress, fear,
and happiness.

thankyou for drawing the smiley face on my tired face.

reader k | 7/08/2005 11:24:00 PM | 0 comments

Wednesday, July 06, 2005

kiddish thoughts and wishes

i was hoping for perfect attendance this term,
but i just have to fall sick for one day.
if only i can add up all the extra extra hours i've spent in school,
not only can i obtain perfect attendence,
but exceeding it.
and what nonsense am i talking about here?
what childish remarks?
think i've been hanging around too much
with the kids.
influenced by them.

speaking of the kids,
i would like to name some:
Ikhwan starts to get anxious about starting his coursework.
was glad to see that.
Bob is seriously thinking about how his towers can take shape.
doubly-glad to see that.
Guan Cheng has improved tremendously in his cutting.
so glad, so glad.
Weisong can finally start to cut his work.
Finally!!
Hafizah is working, steadily, but needs pushing.
she can be pushed.
Nazurah is always independent.
i hope she can start painting soon.
Rathiya, is rathiya. always so organised.
i'm just waiting to see her finished work.
Chee Kang is getting to the second layer.
he needs to be more confident.
Lay Yan is finally taking flight.
he needs to be neater in his cutting though.

from 11 down to 9,
i am fortunate,
so are they.
i hope:
2 A1
1 A2
6 B3

2 more months to go.

meanwhile, all the best for the physics test tomorrow.

reader k | 7/06/2005 03:33:00 PM | 0 comments

Sunday, July 03, 2005

where are you?

lately i'm beginning to feel that
time is really short.
A whole day just goes by like a breeze.

an ordinary day for me:
7am to 7pm
school
8pm to 12am
whatever energy that is left to
accomplish things to be done / family
12am to 5.30am
sleep

the pattern starts again.

the scary part is in school.
by the time all the lessons have ended,
it should be 2pm.
but 2pm seems like rubber time,
things-to-be-done seems like a zillion.
by the time i can finally get to my desk
to attend to really urgent stuffs,
it's almost 4pm.
my energy level has dropped by now,
but things-to-be-done keep staring at me.

many times by the hour i walked to my car,
i do not need to recall where i have parked it.
it stood alone in the carpark.
it looked so sad,
totally being neglected for 12 hours.

i seriously need to think about my new year's resolution
for next year.
perhaps:
"Go home early"
"Do not bring work home"
"Have lunch time"
"Have time"

reader k | 7/03/2005 10:27:00 PM | 0 comments

Saturday, July 02, 2005

understanding the importance of fridays

time flies.
i have been in the school for a year and one week.

hideous week,
i felt like i was having thousands of personalities.
taking every possible roles i can handle,
tired, yes,
but a hint of belief started to dwell unto me.
i am constantly pushing myself,
i hope i won't fall
(would you catch me if i do fall?)
---------------------------------------------

my two loves every friday:
SJAB is growing.
i sincerely put my energy and heart in them.
i want them to shine.

course work is taking shape,
i'm glad.
still a handful to push and push,
i shall have to hope for the best.
i think they do know,
i truly care.

every friday,
shifting between the ground floor and the fourth,
i switched my mindset within minutes.
ache in my feet as my heels click on the steps,
contractions of my lungs as i made haste my steps,
just so i could be at two places,
for two groups of people i care
very very much.
have to admit, at times,
i stole a second for myself,
on the second floor.
----------------------------------------------

as i finally put myself off
to wayang for them,
my 3 beloved were relieving themselves in the loo (!!!)
what great timing?!
must be the junk i've been feeding them.
my fault.
----------------------------------------------------------------

i see you everyday, almost,
but we hardly get to talk much, in depth.
was glad you stayed till 6,
truely, very glad.
you made me laugh off a great deal of my tiredness.
i am going to miss that.
--------------------------------------------------------------

fridays,
we hang out on mostly then.

reader k | 7/02/2005 09:43:00 PM | 0 comments