:: reader k ::

Wednesday, November 30, 2005

eva hesse

thinking about eva hesse
just this moment

reader k | 11/30/2005 11:03:00 PM | 0 comments

technical difficulty - DAY 1

silly us impressed by the presenter

ICCE was surprisingly interesting
in its international way.
speakers of various accent just made the concepts and theories
not sleepy-sounding.

food was great.
a few exhibits were impressive,
the rest, can't be bothered.

went shopping with wid after,
she mocked me to write a haiku
about the things i bought.
mad.

so here you go,
5-7-5

bought a yellow bag
can't resist three pairs of shoes
surprisingly cheap

what crap.
but for your (wid) entertainment,
i wrote.

---------------------------------------------

and you.
i am still here.

---------------------------------------------

reader k | 11/30/2005 07:57:00 PM | 1 comments

Tuesday, November 29, 2005

a lost and a found

i lost the feeling.
so strange.
how can it be?
need to find it back.

and you.
i am dead serious.

now you have an aim
i hope you're happier.
you shall be busier too.

that is so good.
and bad.

reader k | 11/29/2005 11:55:00 PM | 2 comments

mine

(this is for that 2 person who found each other)

everyday
he acted silly in front of her
saying crappy things
to get her attention.
and he doesn’t know,
she loves him.

everyday
she struggles to ignore him
denying the feelings
generating it into
meaningless conversation.
and she doesn’t know,
he loves her.

that much of others
have to happen
for them to realise
they are for each other to
keep.

close proximity
forbids true focus.
they nearly let it past,
and lost each other.

now found,
put an “X”
and say “you’re mine”.

reader k | 11/29/2005 03:09:00 AM | 2 comments

Monday, November 28, 2005

reminder

always remind me
how much you love me, ok?
because i'd rather cry about that.

thanks for being here.

truely said.

reader k | 11/28/2005 01:19:00 AM | 0 comments

Sunday, November 27, 2005

another night at Cream Bristo

j and i sat again at Cream Bristo
she ordered exactly what i had wanted to order,
but didn't.

we talked about meaningful words,
and our inability to say them.
we both sigh.
no good reasons to justify,
just unable to say it.
we said the wrong things
at the right time
to the right person.

then we walked and talked.
he didn't believe her truth,
now that she is brave enough to say
the meaningful words.
i hope it's not too late.
i hope he is not an idiot to deny it.
i hope she is happy.

she compiled a cd for me,
obviously bootleg,
with no titles.
i have to guess every song.
she laughed the most this night,
and her earrings took turns to drop off.
i adore her.
she packed two gorgeous dresses for me,
for the prom night,
she is more excited than me about it.
she is.
i am so lucky.

reader k | 11/27/2005 03:24:00 PM | 2 comments

everyone needs to be nicer

these weeks i've come across various evil and mean people.

people who talk bad about others,
spreading rumours,
when they don't even have a clue to a single truth.
perhaps they just need more sugar in their coffee or tea,
so that they will be busy curing themselves of diabetes.

people who blink their head lights at you because,
just because
they think you have cut into their lanes,
to spike them! (for goodness sake!!!),
or that they think that it is their father's road,
they owned it, and no one should drive on it.
and if that is not enough,
they would come from your blind spot,
sped up and attacked you from the side,
causing you to have to sway to avoid crashing into them,
and caused an accident,
where you shall be injured or be dead,
while they sped off,
thinking they have won.

another kind who drive big big big cars,
but sadly, their big cars do not come equipped
with any signaling system.
they just cannot signal the direction they want to go.
so they have to shift their big ass car left and right,
anytime they fancy,
to inconsiderately irritate others.

there are also some who openly pretended
not to see anything,
so that they do not need to get involved,
even in helping others.
the wind blew away my friend's papers,
and it landed near a lady sipping coffee
and reading newspaper on the other side
of the cafe.
she pretended not to see it,
even though it is just by her feet.
my friend had to walked over,
bent down near her, to pick it up.
she has no feelings what-so-ever.

the list goes on.
this is enough to spoil anyone's day.
just want to listen to Cardigans'
"i need some fine wine, and you, you need to be nicer".

reader k | 11/27/2005 02:56:00 PM | 4 comments

for us

within minutes,
i see various mood swings in you.
i'm amazed i was able to take it.
from you,
i've learnt to be more patient.

within months,
you listen to my words
as i paint the picture for you.
from me,
you've learnt to appreciate the smallest things.

risk takers,
we are.

natural.

truly happy to have you.

reader k | 11/27/2005 07:41:00 AM | 0 comments

Saturday, November 26, 2005

bet

two weeks is up.
i lost the bet
and i have to eat 3 plates of fried rice.
you shall eat with me.

still,
i'll give it another 2 weeks.
seriously.

and you know why.

reader k | 11/26/2005 10:17:00 AM | 0 comments

Tuesday, November 22, 2005

space oddity

in some countries,
when you asked about distance,
they'd replied:
" takes you a day if you drive,
2 days if you take the bus.
walking? 4 days."

i crafted a distance between us.
give it 2 days.

16 hours later,
you said it has been torturous.
i happily oblige to shorten it,
to zero.

he sat opposite her.
zero distance
but
zero conversation.
how odd is the space?
moments later,
both indulged in nania-land.
meaningless words filled the space.

he stood to leave.

she continued to smoke
so he doesn't need to kiss her goodbye.

she couldn't understand
why is it so hard
for her
to say those meaningful words.

reader k | 11/22/2005 11:50:00 PM | 3 comments

meanwhile

use this while i get the real thing done.

here you go:

i am not going to leave you
(1 million times)

idiot.

reader k | 11/22/2005 01:36:00 AM | 5 comments

Sunday, November 20, 2005

words said and unsaid

(From "The Unbearable Lightness of Being" by Milan Kundera)

It was a programme about the Czech emigration, a montage of private conversations recorded with the latest bugging devices by a Czech spy who had infiltrated the emigre community and then returned in great glory to Prague. It was significant prattle dotted with some harsh words about the occupation regime, but here and there one emigre would call anouther an imbecile or a fraud. These trivial remarks were the point of the broadcast. They were meant to prove not merely that emigres had bad things to say about the Soviet Union (which neither surprised nor upset anyone in the country), but they called one another names and made free use of dirty words. People use filthy language all day long, but they turn on the radio and hear a well-known personality, someone they respect, saying "fuck" in every sentence, they feel somehow let down.

--------------------------------------------------------------------

some words are scary.
such as rumours.
people enjoy these over their cups of coffee,
at the expense of others' misery.

reader k | 11/20/2005 04:36:00 PM | 4 comments

Thursday, November 17, 2005

you are reading it now

he thought what he told her
was unbelievable, simply abnormal.
he certified himself as creepy.

she was mad enough to think
it was just sweet of him to tell her .

and she lend him this invisible book
of the title of this movie invented by him.
how queer.
but he is reading it now.

madly,
altogether.

reader k | 11/17/2005 11:03:00 PM | 0 comments

3 steps to happiness

beautiful soup
crystal fried rice
vanilla ice-cream

that will do.

reader k | 11/17/2005 10:46:00 PM | 0 comments

Tuesday, November 15, 2005

untitled

paper is done.
relieved
and lost.

the cycle will start again,
next year.

again.
------------------------

two weeks.

------------------------

reader k | 11/15/2005 01:21:00 PM | 3 comments

Sunday, November 13, 2005

three

ONE

just that way, you know,
you sat beside,
doing your stuffs,
paused and asked
what i thought about it,

and as i typed along,
i heard you sang.
i stole a glance,
your gaze far into the street.
the intense concentration,
the thoughtful gaze,
dancing charmingly.

my happy song.
this day.
----------------------------------

TWO

caught ade,
before she disappeared.
her thickness,
slightly more than 2 wooden clothe hangers.
i worried.
she put the ring on for me
with her tiny fingers.
i wanted to hug her,
but afraid to break her.
j and i fed her with calamari.
-----------------------------------

THREE

again,
we ate,
we drank,
we smoked,
we stoned in that nice sofa,
but we took a little walk.
lovely walk.
you in your green shoes.

you said you do not have a name for him,
just "him".
it's easier to forget.

you asked how i'm able to take it,
i didn't tell you it's not easy,
but i think you can see.
i am still struggling.

we listened to julie delpy's love for jessie.
then you waved goodbye,
with bag-ful of shoes,
and that lovely smile,
at 2am.

reader k | 11/13/2005 03:49:00 AM | 5 comments

Saturday, November 12, 2005

*sigh

"Why are you so nice to me?"

don't ask me such stupid question.
i am always here.
i am always nice.
just that simple.

idiot.

reader k | 11/12/2005 02:16:00 AM | 1 comments

furiously hooked

Class Exhibition & Launch by D/VISION
9 to 15 Nov 2005
The Asylum /22 Ann Siang Hill
www.division.sg

A Conceptual design collaboration between
fFurious and HOOKED CLOTHINGS

What distract us from others?
How do we decide?
On what do we base our assumptions on?
And, perhaps more importantly,
how successful have we been living within such categories?
These are some of the questions
two of Singapore's most prominent design entities
explored in an exhibition entitiled "Class".

i went to see "Class" today.
great music, great atmosphere
great location (ann siang hill!!)
great drinks,
most importantly,
great friends.

friends of 11 years now.
can't believe we are all in our 30s now
and we still look so bloody young!
we slogged together back in nafa.
LITTLE made great minestrone soup,
stayed up whole night on the phone with me,
taught me photoshop, freehand, pagemaker,
wrote me poems and
see me cry over some idiot.
ALEX K listened intensely to my nonsense,
stoned with me when we hang out.
SAY told me the whole process of print-making,
both gave me my first hand-printed T-shirt
and shared their love worries
with me over satays and green tea
at holland village market.
these 3 talented, lovable men.
it was such a great night
to see them again.

part of the silkscreen works

dear dear dear Little

alex k, all boozed....

say.... not used to be this chubby! :)

reader k | 11/12/2005 01:46:00 AM | 0 comments

Thursday, November 10, 2005

reverse and rewind

it is not easy

she looked away
and left,
not knowing you watched her leave.
she did not cry.

she waited for the lights to turn green
and tears filled her eyes.
the wait was too long.

but everything was at its perfect spot.
doubtless comfort.
pure joy.
truth to the core.
that is why it has to end here,
the happiest, perfect spot.

it wasn't planned
but both have contemplated
the ending.
only that,
she doesn't realise it's not this easy.

now you know
who is the brave one,
who is the strong one.

they throw the dice again.
one step backwards.
a surer platform.

reader k | 11/10/2005 05:10:00 PM | 0 comments

Wednesday, November 09, 2005

bye

here's your stop.
bye.

circle is really not your shape.
i doubt we will go in circles
anymore.

reader k | 11/09/2005 10:35:00 PM | 6 comments

we don't wait anymore

banging on the black and white keys
with chloe.
she taught me a song or two.
and we laughed and laughed.
me to rid my tiredness,
she to let out her pressure,
i supposed.
then we gave up on torturing the piano.

J managed to abandon them two
for 30 mins.
she ran her chores and went back to them.
i adore her.
she knew that.

we mentioned about "waiting"
and me copying the "waiting"
and placed it at his car.
now i can't find my book.
did i lend it to someone?
i lost Barthes' Lovers Discourse.

he immersed into chlorine
i wonder if he found himself in there.
i found him.

" you build this wall around you,
but put up a brave and confident front
to hide what you fear.
egoistic is just a term i said,
but it's not you."

"i love you more."

he called.
told me the answer.
this time i heard it.
somehow
i can even hear him thinking.

reader k | 11/09/2005 01:34:00 AM | 0 comments

Tuesday, November 08, 2005

in the absence of k

the first day of the Course
- torturous.
my partner left half-way,
i was stucked with a nice gentleman sitting beside.
he told me he had volunteered to take this CCA.
rare.
i admire his courage.

we went through
SHOCK!
HEART ATTACK!
BLEEDING & WOUNDS!
FAINTING!
COMA!
2/4 of the lecturers
have had heart-attack!
so we had the first-hand account.
quite amusing.
i love the older men.
they are sincere and real.
they told us the book sucks,
and we are going to pass the test.
HOORAY!
3 more sessions to go.

met J after.
she bought me iced-tea
she gave me presents
she listened to me
she smoked with me
she shopped with me
she bought me thai fried rice
she bought me lime juice
she talked to me
she made me laughed
she made my day,
again.

--------------------------

seriously,
i didn't hear you
totally.

say it again.
because it sounds nice :)

reader k | 11/08/2005 01:00:00 AM | 1 comments

ang-moh-lex

some people
was just so busy eating
molasses
that
they abandon their blog.
tsk tsk.
stupid ang-moh-lex.

reader k | 11/08/2005 12:53:00 AM | 2 comments

Monday, November 07, 2005

untitled

you said:
"just write me a letter will do"

i said:
"k"

don't hate the feeling of loving me.

reader k | 11/07/2005 12:31:00 AM | 0 comments

make a wish to be happy

about 45 mins later
i bumped into J at Pacific Plaza.
2 pairs of shoes with her.

i went to sleep at 3am,
she was trying out her shoes at 3am.
i just love her.

ok, no mention of Polanski and his hair,
ever.
i promise.
for you.

you told me you may be
going to Amsterdam next year.
i've already missed you.
how ridiculous.

the 4D didn't come true,
the petrol station uncle bluff me.
i'll save up to buy the necklace
for you.
christmas present.
the necklace,
is you.

i started to read
the unbearable lightness of being.
can't put it down.

to have weight,
or be weightless.
still on-going.

reader k | 11/07/2005 12:28:00 AM | 1 comments

Sunday, November 06, 2005

sleepless saturday

Borders Bistro
nahnah, J, K, A
black coffee
smoked salmon sandwich
we talked about school
A left.

i parked my car
at slot number 142
my favourite number.
not realising until i got out of the car.

Borders Bistro
nahnah, J, K
coffee, fags.
we talked more about school
and latest love life.
J left.

Borders Bistro
nahnah, K
we talked more more about school
and more latest love life.
nahnah left.

Pacific Plaza Cream Cafe
bumped into J again.
J, K
green tea smoothie
ice lemon tea
calamari
cheese cake
heineken
corona
fags
we talked
more

Scotts McCafe
J, K
latte
long black
fags
we talked
more.
sent J home.

slept at 3am
woke up at 5am
ate noodles.
watched "You've Got Mail"
for the 1001 times.
"I'll send you a bouquet of freshly-sharpened pencil".
watched the rain at 6am.

get well soon.

reader k | 11/06/2005 07:33:00 AM | 5 comments

Saturday, November 05, 2005

little spark of happiness

i want to make it a point
to eat tomatoes everyday.
to detox with pure home-made lemon juice
twice a week.
i want to be super-duper happy.
-------------------------------------------

i made two person happy yesterday.
one with a hug.
one with a gift.
i'm soooo glad
to see them happy.
-------------------------------------------

i received a stack of essays
from students who took time to write
about me,
for the caring teacher award.
thank you all very much for the essays!
many brought tears to me.
one made me laugh.

"...She would sometimes crack jokes
in the middle of the lesson.
Some are funny, some are not.
Even though some of the jokes
are not funny, I know that
she really tried her best..."

humph! :)
-------------------------------------------

i wrote you a letter.
not sure when
you will get to
(it will get to be)
read.
:)

reader k | 11/05/2005 03:32:00 PM | 0 comments

not about it

just let it
go as far as it can go.

the pencil may not last.
but it created the passion
for you to start.
you will never forget.

reader k | 11/05/2005 02:50:00 AM | 0 comments

Thursday, November 03, 2005

mindless thoughts

i had cereal at 4.40pm.
found one of my eyelashes in the milk
and I thought of you
and the ridiculous phone fight.

You.
wearing a shoe one-size bigger.
Me.
wearing a shoe one-size smaller.
ironically, you have the bigger hand.

helen wrote about margot tenenbaum.
about her string of meaningless affairs
and of course,
margot is in love with ritchie tenenbaum.
she went round in circles
just to deny the real love.
she filled her heart with meaningless ornaments.
You
are just like margot tenenbaum.

reader k | 11/03/2005 08:46:00 PM | 4 comments

Wednesday, November 02, 2005

hiatus

so there is this place,
where i don't need to give a reason for everything i do.
so do you.

mistakes made,
remedies be found.

no guilt.
no remorse.

everything goes back to before.

you hurt me,
and i'll still turn around,
and we'd have dinner.

and we told ourselves
to be happy.

but where the fuck is this place?

reader k | 11/02/2005 10:06:00 PM | 1 comments

and the rain pours

i wish
i could hold a party
and tell it to.

haha
hahaha

you
you
you

you
you

reader k | 11/02/2005 02:46:00 AM | 0 comments

home

home at nel's for dinner.
realising i have not had
home-cooked food for a long time now.
simple dishes
filled with love.

thankyou mummy.
dad as usual, tried to act cool. haha.
nel and mia busy with R&R
granny looked delighted.
me and a ate like we have starved
for ages.

and i caught 2 little butterflies.

reader k | 11/02/2005 02:40:00 AM | 0 comments

Tuesday, November 01, 2005

where shall we go now?

exactly,
where?

we may not
be driving around in circles,
after all.

still,
where?

reader k | 11/01/2005 03:35:00 AM | 2 comments