i am so glad lately.
i looked forward to my 4n3 art students.

this i have to list:
- eka tries very hard to improve his sketches. he has learnt to be more independent after my mocking of his every seconds of confirmation for every line or colours he has added.

- xiaozhen is on auto-mode. progressing from stage to stage. foreign to a lot of issues, but never giving up.

- axel takes my instructions seriously, did most things to almost perfection. he has felt improvement, but is still humble. he stops complaining of hard work.

- ridhwan took an independent stand and decided not to be distracted. he responds to my suggestions and added more of his opinions. progress is very satisfactory.

- zairie appreciated my constant nagging and scolding and puts in very visible effort now. he is starting to become more independent.

- suzanna understood my concern for not sacrificing the quality of her work. she now tries harder to show more awarness and took pride in her work.

- hafizah was intrigued by her capability after i pushed her on to another area so as to sustain her interest and bring her back. she begins to seek for perfection in her work.

- barney still sleeps, but he'd never minded me using him as example to spur the rest, even if it meant putting him down. he talked a lot, but showed progress.

- ben looks into my eyes now when i speak to him. he doesn't just nod his head, he questions and seeks for ways to improve. he is eager to start his work.

- pengkai learnt to read my mind now. he understood what it meant when i twitched my mouth, raised an eyebrow, paused when i point at an area of his sketch, and even just a simple "Oi!".

- neeza works doubly hard now. she finds a spot and sit and work till the bell goes off. she is rather surprising in the exploration of ideas.

- zhangtai apologised for all the frowns i showed at him. he is super slow, but is trying hard. he wouldn't mind even if i have to slap him to push him on.

- vic had shown drastic improvement. from a playful brat who doesn't care, to a sweet boy that stayed back many days just to do his work. his improvement in drawing skills amazed us.

- teli is super slow but produced wonderful sketches. like axel, he'd stopped complaints of hardwork and understood my reason for pushing them over the boundary. he'd rather stayed back for art than maths.

- yangxu showed more concern for his work. more details can be seen in the hard work he has decided to adopt. he helped the others when i asked and at times, helped even if i didn't mention.

- guanjin can be easily motivated if she is not absent. she is considerate of how i may not be able to spend more time with her work, and always making sure she has everything ready before asking questions.

- yingkwang opens up more in art. he has ideas, he needs to figure out how to express them confidently. i think he is on the right track in finding out how. it is a pleasure to discuss his work, and he never fails to make me smile from the bottom of my heart.

they have annoyed me, upset me, irritated me, angered me so much before.
time spent together allows us to appreciate each others' existence, endure everyones' nonsense and enjoy every minute in the art room.

i am this glad lately, really.


reader k | 3/31/2007 12:18:00 AM | 1 comments

here's the story:

i got my diploma.
i worked for 3 years.
i studied and got my MA.
i worked for 1 year, freelance.
i applied to teach, degree.

they offered me to teach, diploma.
they didn't recognise my MA.
they didn't pay me extra for work experience because it's freelance, they said.

i appealed.
twice.
they replied.
twice.
same answer; one email, one snail mail.
sigh.

i took the offer to teach, diploma.
57% pay cut.

two years at NIE.
diploma in art teaching.
i was the best student.
distinction in practicums.
they gave me a piece of gold medal.
that does nothing.

i have my posting.
i have a fantastic boss.
i have wonderful friends at work.
1 year later, my friend was promoted.
i was not.

they said i did not have a NAFA diploma.
what the ^&%$%@&^*!@#!!!!!????
my boss was shocked.
i have to send in all my papers. again.

2 years later, they named me art coordinator.
i do the job, same pay.

2 and a half years later, not even 2k.
2 and a half years later, no promotion.

feedback to dd. useless.
my bosses wrote letters. no reply.

i am still here, for my boss, for my kids.
9 more months to go.

yesterday they told me i would be promoted in october,
3 months after my bond. oh really?!
whatever for?

i stayed, for my kids.
they are growing this year,
they can fend for themselves next year.

i am contended.
i can leave with relief.

i can't wait.
to
leave.


reader k | 3/30/2007 11:49:00 PM | 3 comments

i finally popped into G's blog today..... sorry i took so f*cking long to do it :)
and i'd always thought G*F*K*C stands for:
gerald
fabien
karen
chiang weiya

and i kept wondering where is B for benny.

now i realised that G*F*K*C actually stands for:
graphics
fashion
kreative (like bahasa melayu spelling like that eh?)
culture

how silly of me.
sorry, G :)

but i still love you lah, so don't be mad at me :)


reader k | 3/26/2007 11:49:00 PM | 2 comments

yeah yeah yeah!



reader k | 3/26/2007 11:25:00 PM | 0 comments

once again i couldn't sleep.
alex went to kbox with me from 10pm to 3am.

he went right to bed after.
i surfed the net aimlessly,
my laptop is more tired than i am.

the keyboard is too hot now
and the t e x ts ar e la g g i ng
reader k | 3/25/2007 09:01:00 AM | 1 comments

hey B, G and W,
the following are the films i (alex has no choice but to follow me, hehe) am going to watch.
let me know if you want to come. i am booking the tickets soon.
Tickets priced at $8.40 each (inclusive of 5% GST), exclusive of $1 per ticket for SISTIC fee.
for other films, check out www.filmfest.org.sg or pick up a booklet from any SISTIC outlets.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------

Date: 21st Apr 2007 Sat
Time: 11am
Venue: Lido Classic

M


Director: Ryuichi Hiroki
Country: Japan/ Canada
Duration:110min
Year: 2006
Rating: R21

Ryuichi Hiroki is an astonishing director of women. His films, Vibrator (2003) and It's Only Talk (2006), have clinched top prizes at SIFF and other festivals for their provocative explorations of female sexuality. His latest film, M, continues in that vein with its sublime study of a quiet housewife (Miwon) who turns into a prostitute to work out her repressed psychosexual issues. Things come to a head when a handsome teenager (Kengo Kora) hires her services. Not to be missed.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Date: 21st Apr 2007 Sat
Time: 2pm
Venue: Lido Classic

We Shall Overcome


Director: Niels Arden Oplev
Country: Denmark
Duration: 105min
Year: 2006
Rating: PG

Well-directed and strongly-performed, this Danish family drama is set in a small conservative town in 1969, where 13-year-old rebel, Frits (Janus Dissing Rathke), is learning to be a man. After his monstrously strict principal tore his ear off for being mischievous, Frits and his family decide to stage a revolt against the principal ­ with or without the support of the town. This film has garnered more than 14 international awards and has been likened to the sentimental crowd-pleaser, My Life As A Dog (1985).

-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Date: 21st Apr 2007 Sat
Time: 7pm
Venue: Lido Classic

Footy Legends


Director: Khoa Do
Country: Australia
Duration: 89min
Year: 2006
Rating: TBA

If you loved The Full Monty, you will enjoy this Australian comic drama about a group of down-and-out men who try to regain their self-esteem by excelling in rugby. Luc (Anh Do), a Vietnamese-Australian, struggles to find a job to support his father and sister. He persuades his friends to form a rugby team and join an amateur tournament for the top cash prize. Directed by Khoa Do, whose debut film, The Finished People (2003), was widely praised. [Shown with The Kitchen (11 mins).]


The Kitchen

Director: Ben Ferris
Country: Australia
Duration: 11min
Year: 2003
Rating: TBA

A study of the dynamics of a dysfunctional family, taken in a single shot. [Shown with The Footy Legends (89 mins).]

-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Date: 22nd Apr 2007 Sun
Time: 11am
Venue: Lido 3

Little Heart Songs


Director: Akio Nishizawa
Country: Japan / Japan/ Canada
Duration: 100min
Year: 2006
Rating: PG

Little Heart Songs is a heartwarming and nostalgic portrait of post-war Japan as seen through the eyes of a schoolboy. Young Akira, the earnest son of a poor carpenter, fights to keep his school in a choir contest after one of the choir members accidentally drowns. The choral music inspires the children and helps them overcome the tragedy. Sweet and genteel, there is an emotional and period authenticity to this animation that is hard not to like. Winner of Best Animated Film at Lyon Asian Film Festival.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Date: 22nd Apr 2007 Sun
Time: 4.15pm
Venue: National Museum

In a Year With 13 Moons


Director: Reiner Werner Fassbinder
Country: Germany
Duration: 120min
Year: 1978
Rating: TBA

This film stars Erwin Spengler as a man desperately in love with his business partner. He decides to have a sex change operation, becomes Elvira, but still fails to attract the love of his beloved.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Date: 25th Apr 2007 Wed
Time: 7pm
Venue: Lido 3

Waiter


Director: Alex van Warmerdam
Country: Netherlands
Duration: 97min
Year: 2006
Rating: M18

Edgar, the creation of the writer, Herman, crosses the fourth wall and jumps to life in this absurd, twisted comedy. The character wants time-out and protests against the misery of his existence in the story. The man holds a crummy job in a run-down restaurant as a waiter and is tired of being a doormat. His wife is chronically ill. His extra-marital affair offers little more than sexual gratification and he needs a change from his bullying neighbours. Much of it is caused by Herman's interfering wife, Suzie. The film is a witty spin on the practice of fiction writing with a surprising stance on creativity, power and providence.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Date: 28th Apr 2007 Sat
Time: 2pm
Venue: Lido Classic

Don't Look Back (Nae Cheongchun-Ege Goham)


Director: Kim Young Nam
Country: Korea
Duration: 126min
Year: 2006
Rating: R21

Jung-hee (Kim Hye Na, Into The Mirror) is a 21-year-old dancer who experiences a roller coaster of emotions when her father returns after a long absence. A 25-year-old telephone mechanic (Lee Sang Woo, Almost Love) falls in love with a woman after eavesdropping on her conversations. A 30-year-old soldier (Kim Tae Woo, Woman Is The Future Of Man) returns home to discover his wife is no longer the woman he knew. Kim Young-nam's debut film is a triptych about misdirected passion and lost love. Winner of the NETPAC and FIPRESCI Awards at the 59th Locarno International Film Festival.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

Date: 29th Apr 2007 Sun
Time: 2pm
Venue: National Musuem

German Animation

Various Titles. Check out : http://www.filmfest.org.sg/display.php?catid=506

-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Date: 29th Apr 2007 Sun
Time: 7pm
Venue: National Musuem

F*ck

Director: Steve Anderson
Country: USA
Duration: 94min
Year: 2006
Rating: TBA

The word "f*ck" is regarded as the most offensive word in the English language and is uttered by millions everyday. Yet how many people know the origin of the word? This deliciously funny documentary explores the history and usage of the word and its impact on democracy and civil rights. It features interviews with a diverse range of famous figures, from singer Alanis Morrissette to comedian Drew Carey to porn star Tera Patrick, interspersed with historical footage on the jailed comedian Lenny Bruce and original animation by the legendary Bill Plympton.







reader k | 3/24/2007 12:25:00 PM | 3 comments

instead of having lessons for a whole week, i have doctors and pills.

so, the migraine kept me in-house for 4 days, seen doctor loo twice, given my usual painkillers, muscle relaxant, sleeping pills to help me sleep, then later new medication to help "close up" the expanded blood vessels and finally, injection to relief more pain.

all these left me goggy and drowsy and high on drugs, low in spirit and up-and-down in the desire for food. my days were in a mess.

came friday i was feeling much better and it was the school's sports day. it has not been for the last 3 years. all of us were present at the CCK sports complex. even though it's very near my place, i have my driver alex fecth me there.

of course they have allocated me the duty at the first aid booth with my other SJAB teachers and cadets. after setting up the booth, i went up to the grandstand to join my form teacher and class, supposedly to take attendance. both 4N2 and 4N3 added up together, there were only 5 kids! that is how irresponsible our students are. no regards for urgency and respect for others to be on time. S and I sat there, totally disappointed. she looked at the class list with 2 ticks and me busy messaging the kids to make sure they turn up. Slowly, more turn up. S L O W L Y. when they saw me and S, some didn't even bother to say hi or greet us, very rude.

then it's time for me to return to the first aid booth and that's when i caught one of my O levels art student who has "disappear" for a whole week of art remedials. When questioned, her stupid excuse of "i was sick" that did not accompained by any MC, except for her lying-eyes, just disgusted me. It made my blood boils when i looked at her and think that i'm slogging my time and health for such idiot?! that i was so stupid to offer her O levels Art?!!! the only words that came out from my mouth was "i am so so so so so disappointed in you". this is not the first time i said this to her. then i turned and walk down the grandstand.

while i'm at the lower section of the grandstand, i slipped and fell. i sat on the steps among the sec ones. they came asking if i'm ok. all i could do is to hold on to my right ankle, which hurts. i sat there for seconds, and told them i'm ok. then i stood up and was limping all the way down.

i became the first casualty of my own first aid booth.

before i could nurse my sore ankle back, more casualties came in. all because they did not do warm-up before they ran, or came without breakfast.

HOW STUPID ARE THESE KIDS???

then it became endless. 4 casualties have to be sent to the hospital. some have histories of what-ever-ever-should-not-be-running-at-all and yet they ran.

HOW IRRESPONSIBLE ARE THESE KIDS????

then i wondered how they have conducted the heats prior to this final event. how have they selected the kids? Speed should not be the only concern i hope. they should select kids that understood the importance of regular trainings and proper warm-up procedure before even taking part in any events!!!!

I AM SO ANGRY

the only consolation of the day is to see yongcun, cheekang and wilson dropping by to say hi. when they saw me limping around, they offered to send me home and waited till the whole sports day was over. it's a pretty good feeling to see your ex students who always come back to visit, and it's amazing how old you feel when your student, whom you used to scold and nag, is now a young adult, driving you home. :)

by mid-day, i hop into a cab and went to see a chinese doctor recommended by a friend. he is really very good. a few pressing here and there and he fix my sore ankle. no bandage, no medication needed. i am to go back to him when my migraine strike again.

then i hailed a cab to go home.

the day didn't end here.

a shinning new cab. as well as a new cabby, who is only familiar with the roads in Serangoon. (????) so i have to direct him the way, from West Coast to Choa Chu Kang. He kept repeating he is new, he is new, he is new that got me so frustrated that i'd asked to stop at Clementi instead and decided to take the MRT. it is not easy for me to take the train now as i have not stepped onto a train for a long time since i drove.

it is pretty scary. but i got home finally.

argh. what a day.

and a big painful blue balck on my back where i hit the steps left me pitying myself more.





reader k | 3/24/2007 10:36:00 AM | 1 comments

the first time i experienced migraine should be when i was 17 or 18 years old.

i didn't know it was migraine or what the f migraine was. i just had an acute pain in my head, so painful that i felt like crying.

it was a day at school and i stayed in the library to study, like usual. that should be JC2. my usual friends have left and i remembered i tried to leave before 7pm. i had to take bus 99 to clementi interchange and change to number 7 to get back to home at holland. i can already feel my head pounding and was hoping the bus could just zoom by and take me home, QUICK!

then i have to see him in the same queue at clementi interchange, waiting for bus number 7 too. he - the guy who took the same subject combination as me in the whole JC; the guy who talked to me over a plate of fruits at the canteen discussing if he should take art; the guy i've always hope to see when i stayed in school to study at the library; the guy who later came back everyday to school during the school holidays with me to finish up our A Levels Art Coursework; the guy whose water colour painting was better than me and that made me mad; the guy i later fell in love with; travelled all the way to NZ just to see him; and who broke my heart.



he got onto the same bus and sat beside me. we know each other as we have been in the same art class for a year. i didn't think i saw him at the library today, i didn't know where he came from.



he was the first person ever to see me suffering from a migraine. i didn't know what it was so i just said i had a bad headache. so bad that i can't even talk to him properly. he asked what he can do to help. i said " chop off my head, please."



he didn't help me. he can't. he doesn't have a chopper then, and he had to alight as he has reached his stop.



there, my first migraine. the pain is something i can never forget.


reader k | 3/22/2007 04:33:00 PM | 5 comments

the other day 2 ex students messaged me to say happy belated birthday.
i replied to say they are a month too early.

my head still spins.

recently B blogged about how we used to go to plays together and how i got them started in watching plays, even though we were "struggling art students" then, where we have to save up to pay for tickets. thinking back, i didn't had much trouble with money then cos i've always tried to save up (not because I'm a rich kid ok, W) and i don't mind paying for performances and most importantly, going with my cheesepies. i missed those times i've to booked tickets for them, plan the time to meet and so on and making sure what we are watching is worth the money. those times i was their information counter. years later after we graduated, i was still expected to do that - i remembered one year, B actually called me up to ask me to plan my own birthday gathering and inform them the details! duh!

how i love my cheesepies to heart, lungs, bone, blood....

14 years of friendship.
all these while they have endured my nonsense and big talks and trying to be very organised, and my headache.

that is why this is written randomly. head still spins.




reader k | 3/19/2007 11:03:00 PM | 7 comments

reader k | 3/17/2007 02:54:00 PM | 4 comments

MAYDAY is coming to singapore on the 16th Mar.
i will be at Kallang River kayaking when they arrived.

ARGH!

life is so unfair.

:(



reader k | 3/13/2007 10:39:00 AM | 3 comments

this coming week is term break.
BUT
i still have classes from monday to thursday,
THEN
friday and saturday i have to go kayaking with the kids,
forced to go, because all uniform group teachers have to get a 1-star grade in kayaking.
i can't even swim and i have to capsize the kayak!!!

what the f*%$#.

see me drown on friday.
reader k | 3/11/2007 11:55:00 PM | 4 comments

things are going on.
i hope it's major, and get moved on. can't wait.

----------------------------------------------

the competition was done today.
8 long hours.
the 3rd time i'm there, still holding my heart for them.
alena commented after she was done, "need a paper bag".

not all too bad, but they cried.
they said sorry, but they do not need to.
i see them drag their tired bodies home.
life still goes on, just train harder.

at the end of today, i have forgotten how many afternoons i've stayed with them under the sun, listening to the chanting of counts and seeing their feet move in most funny ways. forgotten how many disappointments i've endured everytime my phone beeps for an excuse from trainings. forgotten how many times i have to chase for the consent forms replies. forgotten how i have to make a trip to get their cap badges. forgotten the saturday lunch i had brought for them. forgotten the notes i have photocopied for them. forgotten how much sweet talks i have invested on them. forgotten how many phone calls to parents to apologise. forgotten how i have to magically find a hair-net at 10pm the night before the competition. forgotten how panicky i got when one cadet refuse to turn up. forgotten the adventure of getting a new pair of formation signs at the last minute. forgotten how i almost want to kill someone.

re-start.
and be better.

it's necessary.

reader k | 3/11/2007 04:01:00 AM | 0 comments

today i thought about this and i hope she is reading this.

i was up at the art room the whole day today, in-between classes, i packed up the dusty shelf and table, kept all the expensive art materials in the metal cupboard, clear up all the left-over paint, crippled colour pencils, sorted out ex-students' works, and lots of coloured papers.

i finished with a pair of disgustingly dusty hands.
but it felt good, to clear things up. i can't work well when stuffs are messy.

then followed by my last hour of class, and then art remedial all the way from 2.30pm to 6pm.

back in the staff room, lots of paper work to be done.
then she came over, smiling and saying "health check! health check!"
she asked me how i am today and commented that i looked more alive today.
i replied ya, i slept from 2am to 4pm the day before, i'd better be more alive!

then more small talk and we said bye. she left.

left me thinking of how fortunate i am, to have such nice friends around me all these while. not just today that she had asked me how i've been, she asked me everyday, that is when i am not sick and on MC.

everyday, widya will walk over to my desk (she sat at the far end opposite from my side) and just to ask me how i am today.

i am so happy to be asked.

thankyou, my dear elephant-lover :)

reader k | 3/05/2007 10:42:00 PM | 3 comments

i really have no idea what had happened.
blogger forced me to switch to the new version,
i need to log in using a google account,
stated my email had been used to create a google account before,
wrong password, blah blah blah....
and finally i gave up.

and then i stop blogging because i had been so busy.
and tonight, things got easy,
somehow, strange.
so here, i got the stupid user-name-password thing fixed,
i'm in again.
blogging.

however, i am tired.
gee.
reader k | 3/04/2007 01:53:00 AM | 3 comments